November 28, 2005
I took my cleats out of my bag and tried to decide what to do with them. I noticed how worn the toe boxes have become. The stitching has come undone in places, and a hole has formed on the toe of the right one. The cleats are worn nearly flat on the bottom and the leather is soft and molded to the contour of my feet. "Don't throw them away," my Mom said to me over the phone. "I want to be able to show them to your children when I tell them stories of your soccer playing days."
Throw them away?
My soccer career may have come to a close, but I cannot imagine disposing of a pair of shoes that, in all of their simplicity, encompass a lifetime of memories.
Eighteen years. Eighteen years I have dedicated myself to this sport that I love. What am I to do with myself now? I spent the last few days feeling sad - like a part of me has died and I'm mourning my loss. But I am no longer mourning. I am no longer sad. I have come to realize something that has been there all along. I now realize how lucky I am to have even had the opportunity to partake in something so much greater than myself. I have continually reminded myself over the past few days that I am merely 21 years old. I am a young woman who has already made so many lifelong memories. I will forever cherish my time spent on the Aggie Soccer Field. As players we give so much of ourselves. We sacrifice a typical college life for the chance to be a part of something great. We pour ourselves, every fiber of our being, into the team. And if I could do it one hundred times over, I would not hesitate.
And how fortunate I am to be able to walk away knowing that I was a part of something so special. Oftentimes athletes look back on their careers with frustration or anger toward teammates, their coaches, or themselves. But I have none of that. Instead, I am full of pride. I am proud of my teammates who put the good of the team always before themselves and never allowed adversity to pull us apart. I am proud of my coaches who day in and day out filled us with confidence, motivation and a spirit to compete. And I am proud of the many fans that together shared a genuine love for the game, a hope for an Aggie victory, and yet when necessary would graciously accept defeat.
From all this I got more than just a worn out pair of cleats. I have grown into a person who would be nothing I am today if it weren't for these experiences and the lessons I've learned along the way. So much of who I am on the soccer field will shape who I become for the rest of my life. Because, as my uncle explained and I am finally beginning to understand, just as there was life after high school and will be life after college, there is also life after soccer.
I may be done, but soccer will forever be a part of me. I will find my place among the crowd in the stands and happily cheer alongside the fans that I have admired over the past four years. I will be proud to be part of such an amazing group of people who have continued to let the spirit of competition thrive and who share with me a passion for what is, after all, only a game.
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