My Worst Day Made Sports Illustrated
Nov 10, 2020 | Soccer
In what world does a 20-year-old women’s soccer player at Texas A&M University belong in the same headline as Nick Saban, one of the most renowned, well-respected college football coaches of all time? This one, apparently.
For those who wonder what it is like or how it is possible to play college sports in the middle of a pandemic, let me tell you: it is NOT easy. Let me tell you it is a day-by-day process where everyone is still figuring things out. Let me tell you everyone is doing the best they can, from student athletes to medical personnel to coaches to all athletic staffs across the country. Needless to say, everyone knew it was not going to be a completely smooth process. There would be positive cases. There would be rescheduled games. There would be athletes and staff in quarantine. But, what about the lab errors? Three to four tests a week for each team and their staff. There are bound to be some, right? So very right.
Over the last week, many people have been sending me a recent Sports Illustrated article. The title reads “How a Texas A&M Soccer Player and a 9-Day-Old Policy Put Nick Saban Back on the Alabama Sideline.”
Surprise! That Texas A&M soccer player is me.
The first time I read this article I couldn’t help but laugh. Without being named, I was deemed a contributing factor to putting the most well-known college football coach back on the sideline for the biggest college football game thus far in 2020. I was being referenced on the live TV broadcast and part of an inside story published on one of the leading sports journalism platforms, yet nobody knew my name. More importantly, nobody knew the backstory behind why my positive test was more than just a positive test. Let me take you back to October 7, 2018, where the story really starts.
Halfway through my freshmen season, we made a trip out to Kentucky to take on the Wildcats. Six minutes after being subbed into the first half, I planted to change directions without success. I tore my ACL that day. Six minutes. I was faced with my first ever significant injury in 14 years of playing the sport I love. My older sister was a senior on the soccer team, and we just played our last game together without knowing it. My first year of college soccer became memorable only because of a season-ending injury.
Fast forward to June 2019. Eight months after my first reconstruction surgery, I re-tore my ACL. In an instant, the last eight months of training became meaningless. I was devastated at the thought of starting the process all over again from day one. But the second surgery was different; my surgeon had to use a graft from my right knee to repair the torn ACL in my left knee. This time I would be rehabbing two knees. I took a medical redshirt for the 2019 college soccer season. After undergoing my second ACL reconstruction surgery, I started working my tail off…again.
And the hard work didn’t stop when the pandemic hit.
I spent a few weeks at home following my Spring Break, which was the most time I have been with my family since high school because of my rehab processes. For the first time in what felt like forever, I was more worried about what time my mom was cooking dinner than what time I had to train. After eight weeks of being home and training on my own amidst a world crisis, I returned to College Station to spend the next three months getting stronger and faster, doing sport-specific training, and working on my cardiovascular fitness with my athletic trainer, physical therapist, and three other student-athletes. We didn’t see anyone other than each other. We didn’t do anything other than train five days a week - in preparation for a season that was undecided. Still, two to three hours a day, we worked. We were in a bubble long before there was a bubble. Long before there were daily screenings, contact tracing lists, temperature checks, and weekly COVID testing, we were being safe. The hope of playing again was enough to get me through those months, and it was worth every second.
September 19, 2020, we opened our season against the Ole Miss Rebels. For the first time in two years (714 days to be exact), I played in a soccer game, and it was one of the most memorable nights of my life. Over those 714 days, I experienced a solid mixture of good and bad days. I spent Christmas breaks and summers in Aggieland training without any of my teammates in town with me. I think I probably set a record for the most time spent in the weight room. I know just about every strength coach and athletic trainer across every single sport because of the amount of time I spent in the facilities. That one, single game on September 19th made all of the sacrifices worth it. It all had a real purpose. I could officially close the ACL chapter of my book, and let me tell you, nothing felt better than to SLAM it shut.
But, as we know, it’s 2020, so nothing is that simple.
We were COVID tested the next day, and I received a call from my athletic trainer that my test had come back positive.
I felt about every negative emotion in the book that day. I felt guilty, as if I had let my teammates down. I felt shameful, as if I must have done something irresponsible or that all of my caution the last six months was for nothing. I felt defeated, as if maybe this was a sign getting back to the field wasn’t going to happen more than once. Seven people were forced to quarantine because of me. We had a team Zoom call that day to discuss what happened from there, and I had to turn my camera off every few minutes because I would start crying. My roommate was receiving her Aggie Ring that weekend, and we could no longer have a celebration.
Thanks to further testing and people who advocated for me, I was able to put this all behind me pretty quickly, though I don’t know when the feelings and anxieties will fully subside. Each round of testing is a new round of stress. Every call from my athletic trainer triggers some anxiety. Staying healthy for each game each week has a whole new meaning than ever before.
I never thought Nick Saban and I would have anything in common, but athletics in a pandemic are unpredictable. College sports, like everything else in the world right now, are changing by the day. I write this story to remind sports fans of the sacrifices their favorite collegiate athletes are making right now. The joy you get from watching Saturday night football wouldn’t be possible without everything athletes and athletic staff have given up across the country. I write to remind student-athletes that what they are doing does not go unnoticed. Be kind and show grace to each other during these times because we are all struggling and may experience our “worst day ever.”
Who knows, your worst day may even end up on Sports Illustrated. And we’ll get through it, somehow some way, like we always do.
